i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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