At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
