you guys were way drunker than both of me
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Randomize
