i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
