i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize