Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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