I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
