I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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