the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
