Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
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