Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize