My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
