Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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