Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
