Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
there's paper in my vomit.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
