this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
