put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
