i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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