Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize