Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
