Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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