all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize