i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I showed him my bush... on skype.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
