Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize