i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize