i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
