Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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