I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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