some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
