I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
