I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
as a side note pls kill me
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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