well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
