it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
