Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
