I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
