is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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