just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
