I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
