You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
