It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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