Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
