Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
