He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Don't EVER smell your tampon
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
