The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
