Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
