I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
