I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He shit in the fireplace
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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