He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
