Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
