if i can run in heels then i can drive
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
