they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Randomize
