There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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