i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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