all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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