"it" just moved
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
it glows. i had to have it.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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