My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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