I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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