i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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