Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
My vagina just recognized that song.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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