Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
