I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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