what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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