If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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