lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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