Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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