i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
