let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
