I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
