dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize