i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
